An impressively bad day

When my alarm clock went off this morning after only 5 hours of tormented sleep, I should have just turned it off and kept sleeping. In fact, if I’d known what the day might hold I may have done just so.
I’m too exhausted to write beautiful sentences so I’ll just make this blog entry in point form and you can construct your own story of my day.

1. Lay in bed too long and got up late with a kink in my neck making it impossible to turn to the right.
2. Had an argument with Burton at breakfast that ended up making us both late for school.
3. The power went out halfway through my first morning class. I hung around with some classmates until we were sure it wasn’t coming back on. I had to pee and decided to feel my way into the pitch black ladies room. I found the toilet fine but as I squatted over it suddenly felt myself getting sprayed all over and realized that the lid was down and I was peeing all over the toilet, the floor and myself. Washed my arms and legs and just walked right out of the bathroom.
4. Discovered that Burton had left without me and I could not find him anywhere or get hold of him on the phone.
5. Hitched a ride to my house on the back of Vem’s motorbike, very nearly crashing into a goat on the way.
6. Arrived at home to realize Burton was not there and he had the house keys.
7. Went back to school and still could not find him. Power was still off, air conditioning was off, and internet was off.
8. Got another ride back home on the back of Vem’s bike and almost crashed in a large pothole and then into an oncoming van.
9. Managed to dislodge a screen off one of the ground-floor windows, and after standing on top of stacked cinder blocks, attempted to slide between the horizontal panes of glass. Amazingly it worked and I broke into my own house for the second time, landing on my housemate’s bed.
10. Burton arrived home from having been at the beach. Had another large argument. He wisely decided to pacify me by driving me back to the beach for half an hour before our next class.
11. At the beach I decided to climb out on some rocks jutting out onto the water. While standing there, a massive wave came and threw me up in the air and down against the rocks. I got gashes all over both legs and feet, right thigh and butt, right arm and hand and the kink in the neck got way worse. Drove home very quickly but since we had class, did not have time to suture them up and just covered everything with bandages and went to school.
12. During a break was told by a classmate that I could never make it as a model.
13. Sat in class on my left hip with blood pooling all over my feet and suddenly felt my stomach begin to cramp. (I’ve had a stomach problem for a few years- my stomach will suddenly start having excruciating pain that is so bad it usually makes me throw up. I’ve been for tests and nothing turned up. Sometimes it lasts a few hours, sometimes a day or two.)
14. Left class early, came home and washed my war wounds and realized it was too late to put stitches in as they had already started to coagulate a bit. Realized both sinks were full of dishes. Lay down on the couch but couldn't sleep.
    
15. Did I mention I have pms? And that I haven’t slept a full night since I got to Antigua?
16. God, are you trying to say something to me? Whatever it is, I’m listening.