This week I was praying about my school and my upcoming exams. I always ask God to anoint me with wisdom and help me to study, to honor him, and I was reading in the bible about different people that he anointed with wisdom. I read about Shadrach, Meschach, Abednego and Daniel, who were taken as slaves to Babylon because they were smokin' good-looking, had aptitude for every kind of learning, were well informed and quick to understand. So these four guys were pretty smart to start with. But then, on top of that, God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. I've often prayed that God would anoint me like that- with his knowledge and understanding. I may not be as naturally smart as those guys, but the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, so at least I have a shot at wisdom!
But this week I read the several paragraphs in between: how they asked to eat nothing but vegetables and water in order to keep themselves holy. Oh great. Vegetables and water.
I decided to do a 'Daniel fast' for a week- from yesterday until all my exams were done- eating only vegetables and fruit and water and praying about my exams as I studied, and praying about some other things that are on my heart and mind. I'm not totally sure why I made that crazy decision.
Yesterday I had a wicked headache as I went the first day in about 2 years without any caffeine. I felt sick and had to take an extended nap and didn't feel like studying and didn't feel like eating at all. But I persevered. Today I didn't feel like studying either, but I went on-line to check my university's interactive blackboard, and discovered to my horror that one of my professors had posted notes for our microbiology class that we were responsible for knowing for the test- about 700 pages of material that we hadn't previously covered. I was already overwhelmed. Now I don't know what word to use.
I've felt this way before, usually once a semester (and this is my 7th year in college!), that I was facing a mountain that I had no strength on my own to climb.
Sometimes I don't even know why I'm in school and the only reason I continue is that I don't know what I'll do if I drop out. (But I've learned it's never good to ponder those questions at moments like these.... I'll save that question for a day when I've had more sleep and a bit of coffee.)
It seems impossible that I will do well on my exams this coming week, and actually know the material. I need 70% just to pass, and I feel like I am pretty close to the edge. I've worked so hard, I've really given it my best shot this summer (okay, maybe I shouldn't have gone camping....) but in the end, it's not enough. I've got a couple more days to study and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that everything I have in me, everything I am, is not enough. Wow, I even feel like crying right now.
I'm telling you this to invite you to pray with me this week. (Don't try the vegetables and water fast, it really sucks.) But I want to be able to tell you at the end of this week, guess what, just like those four guys in Babylon, God anointed me with his wisdom above and beyond what I could supply.
So I'm waiting.... expectantly.... a little hungrily..... studying hard..... and looking forward to seeing God come through.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Could you pray with me?
Posted by Heather Mercer at 9:27 PM
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2 comments:
Hey Heather, Just read your blog and thought I would write you a prayer so you know that I am praying for your exams.
Dear Lord I pray that you will be with Heather as she studies and that she will retain the information she needs for the exams, I pray that she will know your peace as she sits these exams. Amen.
G
thanks heather.i know it might look negative on paper but your thoughts really lifted me.stick to your guns! eat lots of avacados. i am praying for you! especially after trying to quiz you on the ride from the ferry and i could hardly tell if i had the paper upside down or rightside up. trust in Fathers wisdom. he not only knows more about medicine than any docter,but he created the whole system and inner workings of this part of creation. the spirit will help you. love, mo
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