Did you know.....

I like to divide knowledge into four quadrants. There are the things I know and the things I don’t know, and then there are the things I know but don’t realize I know them, and things I don’t know but have no idea that I don’t know them. For example, in the first category, I know what medications to give for heart attack and I know that my Mom loves me. In the second category, I don’t know anything about ‘a tale of two cities’ (because I’ve never read it), I don’t know how to jumpstart a car, and I don’t know as much about God as I’d like. In the third quadrant, I didn’t know that I knew the way to superstore until I actually got there, and I also discovered that I knew a lot more Portuguese than I thought when I tried to translate a paper. Third quadrant knowledge is usually a pleasant surprise (“Oh, I DO know how to cook steak!”)
The problem lies in the fourth quadrant. Things we think we know but actually don’t. This week I discovered some of them and it was a bit of a blow to my pride.
I went to Kelowna to visit friends and family, as well as to have a bit of a break since just getting back from school. (Okay, mostly I just went to see a particular friend). For the first time in my life I went on a trip without bringing a textbook along. I didn’t even bring an educational book (besides the bible); instead, I brought my knitting.
I was asked if I would play the piano in church on Sunday and I agreed, and spent some time one evening with Robin Mercer practicing some songs. We tuned the piano and guitar together and worked on melodies and harmonies and rhythms. I’ve played piano for years and led worship in church for years and am quite confident in my abilities to play and lead and transpose and all that. We practiced for awhile and I felt okay about them, but I guess Robin was less sure because the next day he asked me if I would go over to Alan Karvonen’s house with him, to work on the music a bit more.
I had a headache and was overtired and pretty grumpy and tried to get out of it. “Do you really need me to come?”
Finally I agreed to go along but felt annoyed at the entire universe. We got to his house and sat down at the piano and got our music and all set to go. I began to play boldly along with Robin on guitar and suddenly Mr. K stopped me.
“Whoa, Heather.”
I lifted my hands off. Was I playing a wrong chord?
“Who’s leading here?” He asked me.
I paused for a second. “Robin is.”
“Well then, you need to let him lead. If he makes mistakes, that’s okay, but you’re just supposed to follow.”
I felt my face go red with embarrassment and then we started playing again.
He stopped me a little later and very graciously told me to hold back and wait for the guitar’s rhythm to come in first. He went out of the room to get a drink of water and I sat there for a long moment, staring at the music in front of me. Suddenly a fourth quadrant bit of knowledge hit me. I didn’t have the slightest idea how to follow.
My entire piano-playing career (which isn’t that illustrious), I’ve always led the music and never really had to follow someone else. At church and camp and parties and any other occasion where I’ve ever played music, I’ve always led. And suddenly, when I had to follow someone else’s musical style, I had not the faintest idea how to do it.
Mr. K came back and he was very gentle and gracious in the way he coached us and I felt like after awhile I was able to follow along a bit better. The next morning in church I was positioned behind Robin as he led and I was so determined to follow him properly that I kept my eyes fixed on his fingers where they encircled the neck of the guitar, and I held back until just the right moment, tried to feel where his rhythm was going and join in. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in playing music.
But I lay awake at night thinking about it. Perhaps it didn’t just extend to playing music. Perhaps it was a larger metaphor for life. Perhaps I actually don’t know how to follow. Being a good leader is important, yes. There was a Roman centurion in the bible who understood it well. His servant lay at home dying and he sent messengers to Jesus asking him to come and heal him. Jesus was on his way and the centurion sent friends to tell him not to bother coming- instead, just to say the word and the servant would be healed.
“I myself am a man under authority,” The centurion said, “with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go’, and he goes, and that one, ‘Come’, and he comes. I say to my servant ‘Do this’, and he does it’”.
The centurion understood what it meant to lead. But more than that, he understood what it meant to follow, which was why he was able to humble himself before Jesus in recognition of his power and position, and ask him to heal the servant. The bible records that Jesus was amazed at his faith and he healed him.
Well, to be honest, this theme hasn’t finished percolating in my heart (I like to mull over things for some time before they are complete thoughts), but for me, it was a bit of a surprise to discover something that I had no idea I didn’t know like that. It didn’t hurt matters either that in church on Sunday, the topic of the sermon was humility. I sat there thinking how gentle and how insistent the Lord is when he wants to tell us something, and feeling like I didn’t want to assert how much I knew anymore, until I found out just how very much I didn’t know.