God's Faithfulness

Sometimes I am so amazed at God's faithfulness. I screw up so much its not even funny. The other day I went out with some friends and siblings and we were having dinner at a pub downtown. (A classy one.) At the table next to us were 5 guys who had already had much too much to drink and were getting rowdy. We were talking and laughing and joking at our table and I said how I felt that I'd gotten much more mellow in the last year and wasn't as likely to be aggressive or angry or intense as before. There was unanimous disagreement and lots of laughing and I determined to prove how much more mellow I really had become.
A little later one of the guys next to us came over, very drunk. "I like your hat!" he said to my brother Sam in a slurred voice. "Thanks, man." Sam said.
"I want to see your hat on this girl."The guy said, pointing to my friend Sophia next to me, a gorgeous Malaysian girl. His voice was slurred and he was leaning a little close to her.
"No way!" I answered, giving him a death look. "You leave us alone!"
"I just want to put your hat on her head! Come on, man, I'll give you ten bucks!" He waved a crumpled bill at us and leered at Sophia.
"Listen buddy," I said fiercely, pointing to his table. "You sit down right now!!! We don't want to listen to you."
I got to my feet holding my fork like a weapon and tried to reach across Sophia to shove him backwards as he protested that all he wanted was to see Sam's hat on Sophia, leaning a little close to her.
"Get away from here and don't you come and talk to us like that!" I cut off his ramblings. "Sit down and SHUT UP right now!"
He retreated a little and slunk back to his table, his friends laughing at him. I sat down again, hot and angry, wishing he had kept talking so I could've hit him, and suddenly I realized everyone at my table was staring at me.
"Heather, I can't believe you just lost ten bucks!" Sam said, and everyone laughed.
It suddenly dawned on me, here I was sitting with 6 people who could have easily stood up for themselves, and here I was yelling at a harmless drunk and ready to fight him with my fork, me being all of a foot shorter than him and wearing high heels and a dress. I who thought I was so mellow and chill about everything.
The guy came and apologized before he left and I smiled graciously and said it was okay, and later I laughed about it. It's not the first time that instead of being gracious I've wanted to fight: last year at school I punched two guys out. (One of them put his hand in an inappropriate place) Come to think of it, last week wasn't the first time I tried to fight someone with a fork: a friend at school called me a bad name and I leapt over a couch to avenge my honour, fork in hand. Unfortunately, one heel got caught in the arm of the couch as I tried to fly over it and I ended up flipping backwards and had to be helped out of the arm of the couch where I was stuck.
But the point is not about forks: it's about God's faithfulness.
Despite my trying so hard to be good and gracious and failing, and despite my stupidity in nearly always responding aggressively to big guys that I couldn't possibly win against, God always protects me, and he always forgives me, and he always gives me a second chance. What would I do without him?
What would I do without his wonderful grace? His mercy? Him always being with me, never leaving me alone? I am so grateful for Jesus! I am so thankful that I am truly alive in him and that he leads and guides me every day.