oops, I said it again.

Seriously, I am a pretty serious person. I try hard to think about what I'm going to say before I say it. (Most of the time, anyway.) The funny thing is, very frequently things just pop right out of my mouth before I have a chance to stop myself, or before I have a chance to think. It's like my tongue has a mind of its own!
For example, today I was sitting outside studying and listening to music on my computer. A friend sat down at my table and after a second he said, "Heather, someone's saying hi to you." I looked up and saw another guy sitting at a table waving at me. What I should have said was "hey, nice to see you too", especially since he is kind of an acquaintance/friend of mine. Instead I gave him a blank look and then the words just popped out.
"Are you talking to me? Cause I don't know you, and usually when random guys say hi to me I assume they're getting fresh with me, and I really don't appreciate it at all."
You should have seen the look on his face, and the face of the girl sitting next to him! I turned back to my computer and of course, at that point I thought of a suitable polite response and I began to feel extremely bad and I took out my earplugs and made friendly conversation with them. I swear, I didn't intend to say that! (honestly, I don't intend to swear, either!)
Or consider this weekend when I was one of the emcee's for my brother's wedding. I was standing up front with a microphone in hand and starting off the open mic by giving a little speech. I started to tell about my brother being so good-looking and always having to fend off girls for him, and how since his new wife came along I have seen so many great qualities in her that complement him, and how happy I am to have an older sister. I was funny and gracious, which is not an amazing thing, you might be thinking, but what is amazing about it is that I had no idea I was going to say that! I had prayed a lot about what to say and how I could honor my sister-in-law when I hardly knew her, and the words just popped out of my mouth!
Or consider that I phoned my brother yesterday to check how his honeymoon was going. I didn't intend to be rude at all, I just wanted to say hi and all that, and when he got on the phone I asked, "Did you sleep well last night?" Of course, that was so funny that I started to laugh and he just hung up. Really, I really didn't mean to say that.
I've been praying for a long time that God would help fill my mouth with gracious, wise things to say. I suppose he is doing that- as I draw closer to him- but he is also still allowing me to make a million and one mistakes. But in a sense, that is also a blessing, because it reminds me how much I need him and how much I need to depend on him just to talk and not get into trouble.