Why you should never laugh and drink at the same time

Funnily enough, today was another one of those very ironic days.
My friend Brad told me a while ago that he thought my life was tragic. Not one great tragedy, but a serious of little tragedies.
I suppose I agree, which is why I began Happy Heather's Hullaballoo in the first place, because I recognized my own tragedies and realized I needed to turn them into something to laugh at or I would jump off a bridge.
I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning and decided to wash my hair. Now you might think that is pretty standard, but not so! I am on a hair treatment plan for dry hair: not washing it. Apparently I am washing it too often and removing the natural oils from it, so I decided to cut my hair washings in half. Today was the fourth day, yuk! I couldn't stand it and shampooed the heck out of it.
I drove to school and found out that I could barely carry my laptop and backpack into the building because my shoulders were so sore. The reason for that is the badminton skills test I had yesterday that I threw all my heart and energy into and subsequently pulled every muscle in my body. Was it worth it, you ask? Well, yes if you consider my final score of 14/30. I know what you're thinking: that's a failing mark! I completely agree in the strictest sense of the word. But really, how important is badminton? Have you ever met a brilliant doctor that was also a fabulous badminton player? I think not. So I decided not to take it too seriously. It's only a reflection of my personal worth, after all.
So then I had a presentation about automatic detection systems for chemical warfare agents, complete with photos I found of handsome soldiers in their combat gear. (I tend to choose my topics based on the kind of graphics I am allowed to include). Everything went fine except for the fact that instead of pushing the 'screen link' button on my laptop I pressed 'hibernate' and I couldn't get my computer to unhibernate. Oh well. I suppose it needed that extra rest.
After class I had free time and sat to study. I had brought a bowl of jello that I had made in a baking fit last night (don't ask how I managed to bake jello, you probably don't want to know). Well, after a while I went down to the bathroom and discovered to my horror when looking in the mirror that the lovely rasberry jello had dyed my lips, teeth and mouth all bright red! Horror of horrors! It's a good thing I wasn't scheduled to meet the love of my life today.
Back to academics... in calculus class I mastered the art of sleeping sitting up and somehow being able to open my eyes whenever my prof turned my way. The only problem with sleeping and waking so frequently is that it is hard to control ones eyes- once in a while when he looked at me strangely, I realized I must be staring at the front of the room, cross-eyed and with drool coming down my chin.
After calculus I flirted my way into getting a pile of extra tickets for my grad ceremony from the University registrar. (He whispered to me not to tell anyone, which is why I'm not telling you HOW MANY extra tickets I weaseled out of him). I did some miscellanous homework and fell asleep reading for my history class. I'm sorry, but the history reading room smells like my pillow and it is quiet and dark.
I made a cup of tea and brought it into my history class. All the desks were in a circle and as I sat down and put my cup of tea down, I performed an amazing act of coordination and skill. I managed to flip the lid off my cup, pour half of it down the front of my shirt and pants, the other half all over the desk and chair and my backpack, and catch the empty cup and lid upright, all in one instantaneous motion. Such skill, I know. That's why they all call me 'coordination woman'. (Actually, not too many people call me that.)
When we got it all cleaned up I decided just to tell people that I was leaking from the inside out, that was why I was soaking wet.
Then during the class- I don't even know if I was laughing- maybe just breathing! But I inhaled an enormous mouthful of water from my Nalgene bottle and started to choke. I barely kept myself from spraying water into the middle of the discussion circle, but I couldn't breathe and I choked and coughed and choked and coughed and then tears started to pour out of my eyes so that everything went blurry and the whole class stopped and waited for me to die. Thankfully I survived.
The irony is that I went home and made vegetable curry for dinner, something I always hated as a child. Some people's tastes change with age, but I don't know about mine. I think I still hate vegetable curry. I just have 2 liters of it left in the fridge now, that's all.