One day at a time

It’s amazing what comes out when one is under pressure. I was thinking about this last night as I violently threw a package of plates at my roommate after he left them in my room for the third time. He actually had the gall to suggest that my mood was a result of my estrogen level at this particular time of the month. I think I threw a pen and a package of cue cards at him as well.
And when a mosquito flew up my skirt the other night and bit me seven times on one thigh before I killed him, I had seven choice words to say to her. (By the way, female mosquitoes are the only ones that bite.)
The plumbing here is very unique; my toilet flushes whenever anyone else’s toilet flushes in any of the other dorms. Also, my sink sings (actually, roars) when I turn it on. Sometimes I can get it to stop by jiggling the tap, sometimes I can’t. And it decides whether or not to come out at a trickle or to come out with so much force that it splashes me from head to toe. I always joke that when I wash dishes, I get a shower as well. And the other day I had just about enough and when it splashed me again and decided to leak all over the floor, I got so mad I left my dishes all night without washing them. (Horror of horrors!)
But a different kind of response came out yesterday. One of my classmates came and told me that she’d overheard some gossip about me and thought she should tell me. Some of the other students had been spreading lies about me and my housemate Burton, most of them nasty, unnecessary lies, and the rest of them damaging and hurtful suppositions. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach and knocked the wind out of me.
In a moment, everything changed. I felt really disappointed. But I said to my classmate, most of those things are lies, and I’m not going to take them seriously. Don’t worry about what they said. I’m not angry at all.
I went to my room and cried, but there wasn’t a hint of anger. The only thing I felt was sorry for the people who felt compelled to gossip, tear down, and hurt others. There wasn’t even a question about forgiveness.
I wish I could say that I always respond in the right way. I wish I was always filled with forgiveness and love. Yesterday I made a choice not to get bitter, and to keep opening myself up and being friendly and loving to those around me. I made a decision to keep living my life as an example of God’s light.
So perhaps all these little exercises of a whiny sink and a spontaneously flushing toilet and a cockroach infestation and a dead rat decaying in the rafters and an aggravating roommate and not enough sleep are just exercises, to teach me how to respond so I am prepared for when it really matters.
That’s what discipline is, in a sense. Elisabeth Elliot says “It is in learning to eat that living bread (Jesus!), sufficient only for one day at a time, that we are taught and disciplined and prepared for later things in life.”
One day at a time, one day at a time.