April Fool's Day

So yeah, April 1st was one big joke for me.
I had to work at 7:00 in the morning, so I set my stupid alarm clock for 5:45. Enough time to read my bible, shower, eat breakfast, dress, make lunch, etc.
I woke up at 6:40, and decided to check the time. I was out of bed like a flash. No shower, no makeup, no lunch, I poured a bowl of cereal and ate it in the car.
As I was busy speeding to work (a 25-minute drive away), I thought, this day couldn't get much worse.
How very wrong I was. Suddenly my car began to choke and shudder. The night before I had been talking on the phone with a friend. My car is out of gas, I'd said. But I'm not sure if it really is or not because the dash lights sometimes go on and off. Heather, fill it up with gas, he'd said. "Nahhhh" I'd said with a chuckle, "I know the limits of my car. I like to drive it until it's just about empty and then I fill it."
"You could read the odometer." He suggested. "Then you know how far you can go."
"I don't think the odometer works." I'd replied "Because it's not showing that I'm getting very good gas mileage. But maybe that's because my tires are flat."
He groaned. "Fill up the tires!"
I just laughed.
Well, I managed to coast to a stop on the side of the road. The conversation of the night before passed through my mind. Also the fact that I'd left my cellphone sitting on the kitchen counter. Also that there were no gas stations for miles around. Also that it was 6:45 in the morning and there were no people around. I got out of the car, locked it, and started running. I stopped a man on the side of the road and borrowed his cellphone and tried to call my sister, and a friend. No answer. I kept running, and praying. No stores were open.
Finally I found an autobody shop and I banged on the door until a man came and opened it. I explained my situation.
"We have no gas here." He said.
"What about in your truck?" I asked. "Do you have a siphon hose?"
He looked at me like I was asking for his wisdom teeth. Another man came into the shop and listened to our conversation. I turned to him pleadingly.
"I'm a nurse." I told them. "If I can't get to work, my patients will DIE!!!!"
The second man finally agreed to drive me in his van to a gas station. As I got into the the van I was remembering all the stories I've read about girls who got into vans with strange guys. I chatted with him while we drove, dropping hints about my 5 brothers and my boyfriend who is a WWF contender and my own experiences with Nin jit su, etc.
We got the gas, and he drove me to my car and had the grace to fill up my tank for me. I thanked him for saving a damsel in distress and he got this funny look on his face and drove off. I drove to work as fast as I could.
When I arrived I was half an hour late, and I immediately started distributing morning pills to my patients. I hadn't had any coffee and I felt thick and stupid. I managed to spill someone's chocolate milk all down my shirt, and every time I smelled urine or crap I wanted to vomit. Two of my patients came down with the flu of some kind. I tried to be sympathetic but it was hard. One patient had a serious fall and hit his head and I had to assess him and fill out incident reports and then call his family and explain his deteriorating condition.
The nurse for the next shift wasn't coming and they asked me to stay late and I said no, I had to go. I drove home and stopped and filled up my tires and when I got home there were panicked messages on the phone from my friend Sylvia who was supposed to be picking my sister up from school, saying she was stuck in Westbank with a broken truck and couldn't make it. No prob, I thought.
I stripped off my nursing uniform and since there was no one else home and I was too tired to get dressed, I just put on a thin little nightie that just covered the basics. I went into the kitchen and was trying to fix some lunch when the doorbell rang. Oh, great, I thought, probably just the mailman. I will stick my head out the door and reach for the mail.
But when I cracked open the door there was a good-looking young man standing there.
"Hi!" He said cheerfully. "I'm the photographer!"
"The what?" I asked incredulously.
"Didn't you know I was coming?" He asked.
This must be a joke, I thought.
"I'm here to take pictures of your deck and hot tub and stairs. Joe the contractor hired me. Didn't your parents tell you I was coming?"
Why do people always refer to my parents, as if I am a little kid who needs to check with them before I do anything? I thought, annoyed.
"My parents are away." I said coldly. "But you can come and take all the pictures you like."
And I swung the door open.
To make a long story short, the photographer turned out to be quite friendly. He only left after I told him he had to go and held open the door and ushered him out. I picked up my sister from school, but there was construction on the way and I was late. I made dinner and the red sauce splattered all over my top when I opened the pot.

Some days in my life are tragedies. This one, I think, was intended to be a comedy.