I am hid in Christ

This week my supervising physician arranged for me to go with her to a seminar/dinner put on by a group of cardiologists. The talk was on atrial fibrillation and it promised to be interesting. We arranged to meet at the pub where the meeting was being held and after agonizing over my clothes and standing on tiptoe in front of the mirror trying to find something that looked sophisticated but still laid-back, I drove to meet her.
I walked into the room and came face to face with 2 dozen distinguished looking doctors, almost all male, and all of them at least 20 years older than me. The tables were arranged in a giant horseshoe and each place setting had 4 wineglasses, dozens of forks and spoons and knives, and expensive-looking flower and candle arrangements.
A well-dressed woman came up to me.
"What kind of wine can I get for you, ma'am?"
Wine? What kind of a seminar was this? I asked for something non-alcoholic and asked in a whisper if there were any chairs left at the back of the room. The only one left was right in the center of the horseshoe.
An older Indian man came up to me.
"Are you Heather Davies? Hello, I'm Dr. L. Dr. G told me that you would be coming. She was unfortunately called away to an emergency and can't make it tonight, but she asked me to make you feel welcome. Have you got something to drink?"
He chatted with me for several minutes and then seated me in the middle of the horseshoe. I realized too late I was directly in front of Dr. K, the surgeon who had got mad at me for not stitching properly, and Dr. R who I had inadvertently insulted when I first met him by telling him he was too old for me. I crossed my knees, sipped my pop and tried not to look like the only student in the room.
The appetizer was scallops and shrimp baked in pastry with basil sauce, and the entree was grilled halibut and vegetables with two different sauces and some kind of strange looking rice. Dessert was black forest cheesecake nestled in raspberry sauce.
The waitress kept discreetly filling everyone's wine glasses, and I watched her during the boring parts of the lecture and wondered why she only filled the glasses half full, and wiped the mouth of the bottle on a white towel.
Dr. K glanced over at me a couple of times and finally I got up the nerve and said to him, "Dr. K, I stayed up til midnight practicing my sutures on tuesday night."
He grunted in reply. "Good."
"I think I'm getting it." I continued.
"Anyone can learn." He said brusquely. "It just takes practice."
On the other side of me Dr. R was also looking at me.
"Where have you been?" He asked suddenly. "I was looking for you yesterday. I had an interesting valvuloplasty that you would've appreciated seeing."
I was a little surprised and gave a laugh. "I thought you were never going to speak to me again after what I said when we first met."
He smirked. "I'm not that much of a jerk."
"Well, I'll be around next week." I said agreeably. "Just give Dr. G a call if anything turns up and I'll be happy to come over."
The dinner actually seemed to last forever. When I finally left I walked stiffly out to my car and waved smilingly at another doctor and then got inside and put my head on the steering wheel.
I felt so very out of place. Everywhere I go I seem to be the only one. The only medical student. The only Canadian. The only Christian. The only girl. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find a place where I actually belong.
I thought suddenly about a line from the bible. "I am hid in Christ."
What does that mean?
It's as if God has made this special place for me. And for you, too. We will never feel like we completely belong in this world- we are simply traveling through. We are living in it but not of it. Yet, in a very real sense, there is a place of belonging in Christ. It doesn't matter if home seems an abstract concept because you move around so much. It doesn't matter that I am the 'only one' at everything I do. The reality is that I am safe and secure and wanted and completely belonging in Christ and in my relationship with him. It was as if God was saying to me, Heather, I have a place for you where you belong.
I started to laugh as I drove home. Some days I truly wonder where I'll end up. But I am inspired an encouraged by the 'woman of noble character' described in Proverbs 31, who was able to 'laugh at the days to come'.
Sometimes laughing at the days to come sounds like a pretty scary thing to do. I don't know what they will hold.... but I know who holds me. It takes courage to laugh, just like it will take courage to go work with Dr. K on tuesday again, and to stand tall in a place I don't belong, and to believe that I am completely safe and secure in Christ. It takes courage, but oh, it's worth it. And.... it really is so much fun.