The other day I was looking through some old blog entries and I was surprised at how upbeat and optimistic they sounded, about the time when I first started medical school almost a year ago. There was no reason for them not to be.... but I noticed the tone beginning to change over the course of the year.
It's not like medical school is that difficult, I explained to someone yesterday. Actually I found calculus and chemistry a lot more challenging. It's all the other stuff that I didn't know I would be learning, that has kicked the stuffing out of me a bit and made my blog entries a little more real and a little more raw. Not all the stories responsible made it into my blog, I'm afraid. The things I didn't write about will probably stay that way, although I don't mind talking about them. But they are the things, unlike long hours in microbiology class, that actually make me into a better doctor. They are the things that have taught me what it means to be humble and to forgive and to demonstrate self-control and to not judge someone because I know I'd do the same things given the chance.
They are the things that have made me depend on God like I never have before. I think I would be completely disenchanted with medical school and with life in general and with my love life (or lack thereof!) if I wasn't so stupidly optimistic. Sigh. Some mornings I wake up with tears still sliding into my pillow, and other mornings I wake up and everything seems new and fresh.
I read an awesome quote the other day that resonated so deep in my soul and gave me hope.
“God loves you, and has a difficult plan for your life.”
A friend explained to me once that the Christian life is like a football game.... If you're running the right direction, expect to be tackled. Yes, you can learn to run faster. Or you can work out and build yourself up so that the next guy who hits you is the one that gets knocked down. Or, if you're 5'3” like me and don't have a lot of hope that you'll be able to knock someone else over, when you get knocked down, you can laugh....and then get back up.(Okay, I know that's not exactly the way football is played...)
God loves you, that's the truth. And he has a difficult plan for your life. Difficult, and wonderful.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
God loves you!
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1 comment:
Hehe I guess my last post to your site was sounding pretty positive ask God and he will make everything good. I gave you the good parts of Mrks story and not the extremely tough things he had to do in order to get to his wonderful ending. I do believe that Gods path is difficult I just dont believe that God puposefully does cruel things to us to teach us a lesson. God would not require me to have a group in my house on wednesday night if he was bein easy but I dont think hes punishing me by doing so either.
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