Raising the dead in me

Perhaps it was all the talk about obesity and heart attacks. Perhaps it was the many hours sitting still in class, shifting my position every couple of minutes trying to keep the blood flowing. Perhaps it was seeing the sun come out for the first time in a week…. Whatever the cause, I was full of pent-up energy and after school I decided to go running. It had warmed up to a mere -2 and I figured that I could get in a little run before the fading light completely disappeared. As soon as I got home I threw my stuff on my bed and ran out the door.
….Well, maybe it was colder than -2. By the time I got back my ears and fingertips were numb but my face was slick with sweat. I decided to try a facial beauty treatment to improve my complexion. (Why haven’t I outgrown these silly ideas?) I whipped up some dinner and had a shower and started studying.
Later on in the evening my face began to feel uncomfortably warm. I looked into the mirror and it was a bit pink. Oh well, it will be better by morning.
I woke up in the morning, and looking in the mirror I was shocked to see that my face was bright red- not all over, but blotchy in some spots and with white circles around my eyes. I’m not sure what it was, perhaps the combination of windburn from running and then the salty sweat and all that, but I had toasted my face a nice pink color. I tried valiantly to cover it up with some makeup. Well, perhaps if I make my eyes look extra dark then no-one will notice how bright my skin is. I leaned towards the mirror with my eyeliner and accidentally poked myself in the eye with the pencil. My eyes began to water and I tried to swab out the bits of pigment I could see stuck on my cornea. Oh dear, I was going to be late.
I rushed into the kitchen and quickly tried to eat some breakfast and I could see my neighbor pull up in the driveway to pick me up. I gulped down a bowl of cereal so fast my stomach began to hurt. I had read on the news that the temperature was supposed to be in the positives, so I put on my sandals (for the first time!) and ran out the door. As soon as I hit the air outside I realized there was no way the temperature was positive, but it was too late, so I just sidestepped the snow and jumped in the car.
“Hi, Katie.”
Perhaps if I act normal she won’t notice anything is wrong with me. Katie is a really quiet person and she looked sideways at me but didn’t say anything. I got to school late and when I slid into the back row, Eric, who sits next to me, looked sideways and then had a puzzled look on his face. I opened my books and stared at the professor.
I could feel Eric looking at me out of the corner of my eye again. My eyes were beginning to water again. I blinked back tears and delicately tried to dab at my eyeball.
When we had a morning break I avoided the curious gazes of the people sitting around me and nonchalantly went to look at the bulletin board.
I heard laughing and I turned and my classmate Rob was standing there.
“Heather, what’s WRONG with you?”
“what do you mean?” I asked innocently.
“Well, you’re wearing high-heeled sandals in minus 10, and your face is bright red and your eyes look funny. What happened to you?”
Sigh. I had to explain all day. I got up this morning and my face was about 90% better, but I was feeling nauseas and spent time trying to decide if I was going to throw up or if I was going to make it to school. I took some ibuprofen and waited for my stomach to settle and read my bible.

“We were under great pressure...” Paul says in Corinthians, “Far beyond our ability to endure….. but this happened that we might not rely on ourselves, but on God, who raises the dead.”
Saturday today, and I didn’t have a ride with Katie, so I rode my bike to school. Back down to -17 degrees. I bundled up with a scarf wrapped around my face and ventured out.
I kid you not, biking to school today was the coldest experience of my life. The wind ate through my toque and made my head throb. My double-lined mittens did nothing. As I breathed through my scarf, my breath condensed on it and I could see icicles beginning to form and joining the ones that were forming around my teary eyes.
I made it to school late and the class was about biostatistics and I sat in the back row and tried to warm up, thinking about math and folding paper into interesting origami shapes and wishing my windburnt face didn’t feel so hot.
On the way home I stopped to get groceries and I didn’t have quite enough money for everything and I kept asking the cashier to take things off my bill and it was kind of embarrassing to count out my pennies for her.
I have been struck lately with how much I am at the mercy of God. I’m not talking about the cold weather here, although that is part of it (I’m lucky I didn’t get frostbite on the way to school today!). There are also just the little vagaries of life- the silly things we do- the frustrating things- the hard and painful things. Some of them crush us beyond our ability to endure. Some of them just get us down little by little. But they’re not as random as they seem, I don’t believe. They happen so that we might learn to not rely on ourselves, but on God, who raises the dead.