I have thought about this blog for a long time and planned to start it "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that I got into medical school. The bad news is that I'm being sent to Prince George."
But the reality is stranger, sharper, more painful, more difficult to talk about, especially to joke about. I have been working towards becoming a doctor for the last few years, pretty sure that God's call on my life is in this direction.
Today I checked my application status and was greeted with "We regret that we are unable to offer you a position." I read it slowly, twice or three times and then walked out of the school computer lab and got into my car. I thought I should go somewhere quiet and alone to think about it but I didn't know where to go, so I just turned on my car after a while and drove away. I drove down a few streets and started to cry because I realized that the door had closed for me and I really didn't know what to do.
It's tough, you know, because everyone has been asking me about whether or not I'm going to medical school and I was so sure, everyone was so sure that I'd be successful.
There is good news, though.
These last couple of years as I have drawn close to God and learned what it means to make him my treasure, I have committed to following his leading wherever it takes me. I have chosen paths that didn't make sense and I have learned to embrace grief knowing that my hope isn't in circumstances, it is in Jesus.
I don't feel disillusioned with God; I feel confident that this is not a mistake. I told people over the last few months that my chances of getting into medical school were very small, but with God, odds are always 100%. I know that the medical school committee who rejected my application did not make a mistake. I have prayed almost every day this last year for them, and I know that this is from God! So I receive his great gift with thanks, even though it hurts and I don't know what to do now.
That was the good news, and in case you think it wasn't that good, I'm still in need of encouragement! Consoling remarks can be sent to heatheradavies@hotmail.com, and anyone who wants to buy me timbits, flowers or just large cash gifts can mail or courier them.
And if anyone has any suggestions as to what I should do for the rest of my life, or even just next year, please post your suggestions!
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Good news and bad news
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3 comments:
Since you asked for suggestions I am going to give you my two cents. I really think you should not give up, if being a doctor is what you felt God wanted you to do maybe he is just testing your commitment to his plan. Maybe there was a timing and God wants you to wait or location issue and God needs you at a Medical school you didn't apply to yet. Point is, if being a doctor is your dream and a dream you felt God has given to you don't give it up.
on the bright side you aren't going to Prince George... or are you?
I agree with Nixuz. I remember having a discussion with you in the collegium which was pretty much based on what you are now experiencing. I don't remember all I said then, but what I say now is that if God wants you to become a doctor it will happen, but perhaps not in the timing you expected. I don't know a lot about this whole field, but just because you didn't get in this year, doesn't rule out other years does it? Therefore, if this is truly God's call on your life don't give up on it. However, there is the very real possibility that God does not want you to be a doctor. It's tough when you thought you knew what God was saying and then it all comes crashing down and you have no idea what to think anymore. I hope that you can find peace in Proverbs 3:5,6. That straight path may seem a bit crooked right now, but remember God knows what He is doing. It looks like you have some seeking ahead of you. The good news is when we seek God we find Him. I trust that as you cry out to Him for direction He will make it clear to you what you are to do.
Well, that was a pretty long comment....I should probably have made it into an email. Oh well...hope you don't mind!
love ya girl,
sarah
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