Searching for profundity in the commonplace

These last few days have been so jam-packed with information that my brain feels like it's about to crash. Kind of. I still have found time to go running every second day with two other classmates (I think we're getting faster, and we go farther every run). We need to run. Brendan said two weeks ago about everything going wrong, if we don't laugh, we'll cry. And that's why we go running.
The most frustrating thing lately is that our water supply is on and off. We never know if it's going to be on in the morning or in the evening- about half the time there is no water and then we find the maintenance guy (if he's around) and if he's not we fill up buckets of rain water from the spigot behind the house. I've learned to keep buckets of water in the shower and fridge in case we need them. But that puts a cramp on our running a bit, because the guys won't run if they can't shower immediately after. So we finish class, check the water, and if it's still on, we run.
Yesterday we said goodbye to Nellie. The last week we've spent several hours a day with her in order to finish our dissection as fast as possible before she completely disappeared. We had our final lab test yesterday, and then we put her in her coffin. Another sorry corpse named John that had been waiting in a body bag for the coffin to be built was laid to rest with her. We lifted them in, put the lid on and nailed it shut. Then we stacked the coffin on top of another one. There are four coffins stacked in the lab, they've been there for a long time and probably will be for longer. Dr. Rust explained that it takes forever and a lot of money to get a burial permit in Antigua, so the cadavers get to hang around for a while more.
We put on face shields and used bleach to scrub the lab, cleaning our instruments and taking the garbage out. Earlier that day we'd put a bag of lab garbage out to be disposed of, and watched as some of the workers came to take it away. We all stood there looking out the window laughing, because if they had of known where the garbage came from they wouldn't have come near it in 1000 years. It wasn't as if a petrified leg would suddenly pop out of the bag, but that sure would've been funny. (Well, until we had to pay them off with more rum.)
So we laid Nellie to rest. We threw our clothes in the garbage and scrubbed. Nikki mentioned something about saying a prayer for Nellie, but we were tired and glad to be getting out of lab and just left her in her box.
Then last night I was taking my laundry off the line and there was that one shirt I'd worn and got stained in the lab, and there isn't anything that will take human fat out of a t-shirt. Dr. Rust told me that even de-greaser won't work. I'd washed it so many times, but still the smell of Nellie remained.
Nikki came out of her room this morning with a funny look on her face. "I dreamt about Nellie last night." She said. "And I said a prayer for her."
I'd expected my experience with my first cadaver to be profound. I'd thought we would have a solemn goodbye for her and reflect on the gift of life she gave. But it was not so. We'd stripped off our clothes and went for dinner, discussing the upcoming exam and laughing over silly jokes. It was so unemotional.
Sometimes I'm not sure what to write about in my blog. It's not that I don't have plenty of adventures. But some of them are so raw, and some of them are so commonplace. Saying goodbye to Nellie was so devoid of any emotion or profundity that I was left wondering if I'd missed something somehow. Shomaila leaping out of the bathroom shouting because a lizard decided to join her in the shower, so commonplace and every day now. Accidentally slipping on a pool of body fluids in the lab and almost wiping out on top of a cadaver? Commonplace. (Unfortunately). Trying to look through a microscope at a blood smear and having to take a break to kill 17 mosquitoes that were hovering around us? Cold showers with a bucket and a cup? Food poisoning with all its not-so-wonderful symptoms that I've experienced all week? These are just external challenges and they enter a familiar place in my heart and mind and I can deal with them. I've done it before, I'll do it again.
But other things are not so easy to deal with. Talking with Brendan about losing someone you love and how it feels to be helpless to save them? Raw. Dr. Rust teaching about how to identify signs of child abuse and finding myself up until midnight not being able to get it out of my mind? Raw, still raw, and I hope to God that it never becomes commonplace. I emailed my dear friend and mentor Dr. Jan White last week, asking for advice on how to deal with my strong and very emotional reaction to what I was having to learn.
"...the answer you probably don't want to hear", she told me, "keep on letting God break your heart, and keep a daily supply of Holy Spirit super glue on hand."
I've been thinking about it for a long while. It's okay that I react the way I do to some things. God made me this way for a reason, and someday maybe I'll understand. It's not easy to feel my heart being broken over things, but everyone falls apart over something and everyone needs putting back together again. It's okay, and it's normal. Commonplace, even.
And speaking of very upsetting but very common place things, there is the haircut that Nikki just gave me. It is unfortunately upsetting me more than I would like. Let's just say that most of my natural beauty was removed with a pair of scissors. There will be no pictures forthcoming.