Hanging on

I haven’t written on my blog for a few days, not because there is nothing to write, but because writing takes emotional energy and these days I am sadly depleted.
There have been some amazing things happening, some good days, some bad days. I had two (almost) full nights of sleep this week which bolstered my spirits a bit. We have had some tricky situations with the student association and some difficult people and I have struggled with my feelings towards one particular woman. I caught myself envisioning how I was going to angrily tear her apart during one of our meetings. Then I was shocked and humbled to see my housemate Burton turn the other cheek and demonstrate a gentle response that did far more than my anger would’ve accomplished. He totally pulled the rug out from under her feet and in the end several people came and complemented his Christ-like example.
I sat on the couch in our house this morning and felt too tired to fight anymore. I had left the sink piled with dishes for two days hoping one of the guys would wash them but finally there were no dishes left to cook with and the garbage was overflowing and the counters were filthy and the fridge was empty and I just had to suck it up and do it. There is dirty laundry everywhere and my toilet is leaking and pooling all over the floor and I haven’t had time to call the landlord. As I went out the door this morning I saw a giant cockroach sitting by the table but I just left him and ran out because we were running late for school and the car horn was being honked for me. At school the power went out so we moved into the open-air cafeteria but it started to rain and the mist was soaking my computer and my notes. Asa took the car and went home without me so I guess I’ll have to hitch a ride with another classmate. I am too tired to cry.

‘I have not knowledge, wisdom, insight, thought, nor understanding, fit to justify thee in thy work, O Perfect. Thou hast brought me up to this--and, lo! what thou hast wrought, I cannot call it good. But I can cry-- "O enemy, the maker hath not done; one day thou shalt behold, and from the sight wilt run."’
- George MacDonald

Hallelujah.